"Fender benders are the worse"

So recently I was traveling home from a much needed vacation to a sunny spot in good ole US of A.  Bruno Mars and I were collaborating on what I would call the best next thing.  All was well.  I was within ten miles of home.  That's when it happened.  A fine gentleman who for purposes of anonymity I'll call Jerk in the white passenger car, or JITWPC for short, came right up on my bumper.  At first I thought perhaps he was admiring my bumper sticker supporting the local college however I was wrong.  My exit only lane was approaching so I signaled politely to allow JITWPC to know of my intent to move out of his way and exit.

Unfortunately for me this individual never took drivers education and had no idea what the blinking light meant and perhaps thought it was a suggestion for him to then move over into the lane I was now occupying. It was at this point that he passed me on the shoulder waving at me, to which I noticed this poor your man had all but one finger amputated in what I can only imagine was a horrific shop class accident.

I down shifted and lowered my speed only to find that JITWPC had hit his brakes attempting to get me to run into the back of him.  I'm sure he was hoping for a good insurance collection however I was able to maneuver over to the shoulder.  Unfortunately for me, the should was really a ditch and I ended up taking out about ten feet of fence.

I'm sure had JITWPC not been in some sort of emergent situation he would have stopped to see if I was ok.  Luckily two kind bystanders approached and assisted me in calling 911.  The trooper said I had a small dent on my bumper and not to worry about the car.  The paramedics informed me that I had a slight bruise on my elbow and assured me that they thought I was fine but would transport me anyway.  Many x-rays and CAT scan later I dislocated my shoulder and possibly have injured my rotator cuff. "I've had worse!". The most aggravating part was that no one would contact my husband to inform him of why I was late getting home.  It is the one time in our marriage that I have been so grateful for his persistent calling when I have not picked up my phone.  Otherwise I could still be there wondering when he was going to show up.

Being in a sling has been an adventure all on its own.  Mr. Independent has decided that he no longer wants to do things by himself and insists I carry him everywhere.  The car is now fixed, and I am learning to shift gears left handed.  I cannot wait to be out of this thing!

I guess the old adage is true.  Most accidents happen within ten miles of home, even when you've just driven over 700 without incident.  Be safe out there!